presented by A. Kniggendorf & Bruinhilda one German morning / Hawaiian evening on IRC: (warning: severe nonsense ahead - beware the lunatics)
<AKK> We see GV scared a couple of times, while ALMA committed suicide in Chains-TVE to buy Goose more time.
<Bruinhilda> Probably the difference between a military AI and a home AI. GV used to just run Zach's house systems. I assume ALMA was made specifically for military functions. <AKK> But I wonder if BETA would recruit Zach's house AI to serve onboard the Phoenix and on Ranger-1. <Bruinhilda> Most likely Zach just suggested they upgrade his existing AI. Which didn't change his personality...just gave him new abilities. <AKK> So GV is now a military grade AI going uh-oh on a constant basis? <Bruinhilda> Budget cuts hurt everyone, don'tcha know. Walsh: I'm sorry captain Fox, due to budget cuts the updated courage.dll for your AI has been cancelled again. GV: uh-oh... Doc: <installs a cracked net-copy> Now, my electronic friend. Is this better? GV: uh-o– <wail> MOOOMMMIEEEEE <raabaah> Zach: Doc, we've got to talk. I particularly disagree with changing my AI's diapers. GV: <kiddie voice> I'm only 3 1/3 years old. Pppppplllbbbt! Zach: Now be a good li'l AI and stop playing scooter with the kitchen droid, please. <CRASH> Zach (mutters): I should send it play in traffic on the information highway... DOC! Doc: Hey, what do you expect from a cracked source? It's not that the warez-sites give any guarantees, you know? GV: Geeeveeee wanna play mixie now. Zach: What does he want? Doc: I think it's something with the mixer. Zach: Oh my g– <SPLOTSH><BLUBBER> Zach: The milk shakes for the kids... Doc: Call it your new wallpaper. Zach: <growl> Doc: You spent too much time with Goose. He's contagious, you know? And hey, that shake looks decorative, really... I– <edges towards the door> Uhm... have to– Zach: <grabs the hacker's collar> Doc. Uninstall that warez. NOW! – Goose, put him in a hammerlock until he fixes my AI! ALMA: I'm not a nanny! esp. not a nanny for a sissy. GV: <rabaaaah><uhaaahahaa>, ALMA's that mean to meeeeeee. Goose: Sorry, Zach. I've got this mission on Tarkon and I better leave before Niko gets the better of me. ALMA: Powering up, Goose. Doc: You mean Maya, my Goose m– <snap><snap><clong><clong> Zach: Why the second set of shackles, Goose? Goose: My pleasure. Doc: Umph, ooomph... Zach: Applying it around the neck is rather unusual, though. Goose: But effective. Doc: <thud> Goose (looking down on Doc): Maybe a little too effective after all. Here are the keys. I'll be back next week. Zach: Who uninstalls the warez now? GV: <rabaaaah> Nobo'y likes me... Kiwi Kids: "We'll help!" Zach: Aaaaaaahrgg – Commander, about this undercover mission on Tortuna, I do it. No pay. Just let me start now. GV: But sir, Tortuna is a rather dangerous terrain for the like of you. You should reconsider your– Zach: GV, is that you? How on Earth...? Jessy: Hi, Dad, I'm home. Who messed with Givvie's files btw? It sounded awful. Tell whoever it was, he's got no taste in hacking! <makes a large step across Doc to get to the fridge> Hi, Doc. Doc: Ooomph. Jessy: Kinda like the milk deco, Dad. But don't you think it's gonna stink horribly in a while?
...and the morale of it: beware of any fanfic authors who aren't properly gagged and tied up. ;) p.s.: we don't give any guarantees, either!