Warning! This post is the product of two filthy minds. (But we're funny. -EB)
If this sort of content offends you, read no further.
The outtakes I wrote were, um, inspired by some wild sound files that wander the Net – especially by a couple of particularly filthy ones that rolled off the tongue of Doug Preis, aka Goose. I don't know what Ann's excuse is. -EB
I need no excuse! -AKK
E. Bales: Outtakes we'd like to see
Walsh: Can't I trust you to complete a simple assignment? We had a whole security squad waiting at Longshot all afternoon!
Zach: Sir! F*ck you very much, sir!
Niko: Shane, could you like a girl like Maya?
Goose: Nahh... but I'd like to screw you to the deckplates. How about it?
Maya: Goose, you're so witty.
Goose: Does that mean I can expect a blow job at the next rest stop?
Walsh: You've got 24 hours before I call in the Space Navy.
Niko: I have to wait 24 hours?
Waldo: Zero gee just isn't natural!
Zozo: Yeah, then how come there's so much of it?
Waldo: Aahh! Unhand me, you little Kiwi sh*t!
Niko: What are you?
Scarecrow: I am as beyond you as you are of the insects!
Niko: You're Barney?
Goose: We'll have to jam-sync the hypershunts!
Doc: Ooh, I love it when you talk like that!
A. Kniggendorf: 101 positions not allowed in an Explorer
No, sir. I will not explain why I missed the Crown destroyer on the mainscreen.
I assure, that are not fingerprints on the compscreen. – Toeprints? I wore boots, sir!
Sorry, I didn't have the handcuffs ready. – My hands? Well, they weren't free, either.
No, the second seat wasn't occupied at that moment.
We immobilized a slaverlord? – Ah yes, we were in need of a fresh sheet.
Uhm... My back was towards the front screen. Why? There was an urgent repair. – During a flight?! – It was my pleasure, sir.
Ranger Niko, why didn't you notice?! – Ranger Gooseman's not transparent, sir.
Then how come the board cannons were fired?! – That was a mistake. – A mistake?! You saved Earth! – I grabbed the wrong joystick.
How do you consider your mission? – Satisfactory, sir.