GRP5

by
A Kniggendorf


Like any other active unit of Earth's armed forces, the GRS5 are required to have regular consultations with a psychologist to make sure they are mentally capable of doing their jobs. Information from these compulsory consultations is not added to the Rangers' personal files. The sessions just provide a place for the Rangers to talk about their problems... whether they want to or not.

As usual, Cmdr. Walsh observed the sessions, because the four Series 5's were known to avoid them like they avoided babysitting Senator Wheiner. He sat in front of the consultation room's big, soundproofed window. The psychologist this time was Doctor Spock, who didn't know the Rangers... so far!

First session: Niko

(Zach should have been first, but he had signed up for an extra training class on hyperdrive navigation and wouldn't be back in time. Of course, that was the reason he'd enrolled.)

     "Miss Niko. You're saying your only dreams are concerned with your telepathic powers? I can't believe that! You know you have to answer me honestly, don't you?" He watched the young woman in front of him and made a short note about her obvious shyness...
     "Yes...." She sighed. "Okay. There is one..."
     "Tell me about it, please! And don't worry, I won't be shocked by anything you may say."
     "I'm dreaming about him," she pointed through the window towards Goose outside, "wearing white skirts with frills while robbing the Orbital casino."
     He stared at her and erased "shy, maybe innocent". "Are you worried about this dream?"
     "No. He looks good in white!"

15 minutes later
Next session: Gooseman

     "Did you know that your female teammate has quite unusual dreams about you?"
     "That's understandable."
     "Why?"
     ...
     "Don't take me for a fool, Ranger! That's physically impossible!"
     "Physically impossible?" He sounded almost dreamy. Than a wolfish grin appeared on his face. "Don't talk to me about physical impossibilities!" He played with his fingers in front of the psychologist's eyes – and they definitely started to change.
     As Dr. Spock fled out of the consultation room with eyes wide open in a face gone pasty green, Walsh looked up. "Didn't I mention he's an ST?"

Third session: Doc

30 minutes later, after Dr. Spock got a big double whiskey, Doc was called for his session. He met the other two in the corridor before he entered the room where Walsh and the psychiatrist were waiting.
     Niko grinned at him. "Sex and crime are finished. There's only Rock 'n' Roll left for you..."
     "Okay. I'll tell him something about that orgy with the guitar."
     "We'll be waiting for you."

After another 45 minutes, Doc reappeared.
     "Why did it take so long?" Niko asked.
     "Seems this doctor isn't strong enough for his job. He fainted in the middle of a sentence. Walsh is taking care of him now. It's a pity they don't test Buzzwang, too." Doc grinned. "I would have programmed some really funny ideas about his relationship with the Queen of the Crown into his memory."
     "And then they'd change the ID code of our unit to GRP5: Galaxy Rangers Psychopathic 5." Niko grew earnest. "I wonder if there are any people at B.E.T.A. who really tell their secrets in these sessions..." The men watched her curiously.
     "You mean humans are that insane?" Goose finally asked.


Fanfic

Bureau of Extra-Terrestrial Affairs