Buzz Ranger Blues – Earth Times News Alert 1 + 2 – Robotism

by
A Kniggendorf


again, this was written without the help of an editor.


At the end of the episode Tune Up we see BETAs personnel partying that Buzzwang became a ranger. One remarkable detail always stuck in my mind: we see Buzzwang riding hurray on Zach's and Goose's shoulders in the crowd.
Well, these are my two cents about that scene.... <eg>

2086 – Buzz Ranger Blues

The turmoil of the festivities following the official inauguration of Buzzwang as a Galaxy Ranger had died down. The reporters had already left to yell their news at seemingly half-deaf editors around the League. Only the loud bangs of a hammer beating dents out of expensive alloys remained in the hall.
     "Was that necessary, Gooseman?" the commander, clasping his ears which rang from the terrible noise QBall made, asked.
     "I agreed to carry him on my shoulder for the cameras. I said nothing about how long after they went out."
     "But did you have to drop him on his head?!"


The not-so-nice side of Space Peace showed up after the episode Space Moby...

2086 – Earth Times News Alert – BetaMountain Under Siege!

Environmental activists have chained themselves to the main gate of BetaMountain in a non-violent protest when a spacewhale suffered a severe case of indigestion after dissolving the feet of Buzzwang on a mission suspiciously codenamed "Space Moby".
Commander Walsh was not available for a comment. BETA's public relations office is closed until further notice, though an unidentified Galaxy Ranger told our reporters, that they could take the damn bot if they really wanted. He wouldn't care.
Space Peace rejected the offer and demanded BETA to take full responsiblity for their crimes.
The protest continues.
Earth Times: We keep you informed.

2086 – Earth Times News Alert: BetaMountain Stormed! Hostages Taken!

Dramatic events took place at the Bureau of Extra-Terrestrial Affairs this morning!
Offended by the discovery that the ecologically questionable feet of Buzzwang have been replaced by newer and bigger models, posing an even greater threat to the endangered species of spacewhales, the environmental activists stormed the Galaxy Ranger base's VIP lounge during an on-going meeting about their protest.
They are now holding hostage Senator Eric Wheiner and a walking coffee machine.
According to BETA PR, the events have no influence on the Galaxy Rangers' service, though Cmdr. Walsh called the situation serious: "We miss the coffee machine a lot."


After Rusty And The Boys.
Rusty's point of view.

2087 – Robotism

It isn't fair!
It wasn't my fault that Larry transformed himself into a giant by means of magic!
My AI is Buzzwang's times thousand. My memory capacity exceeds his at least as much. I can search LongShot's database in a tenth of the time he needs to type the request.
I sacrificed myself for Doc. He fed himself to a spacewhale!
And they made him a ranger!

Query: sex·ism (skszm), n.
1. Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women.
2. Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.

Yes, that's what it is! I'm going to sue!


Fanfic

Bureau of Extra-Terrestrial Affairs