[the real story of Siegfried of Xanten
and Fafnir the Dragon (as it was not told in The Ring of the
just returned from the Dragon Rock, stood in front of King
Siegmund, his father, and reported rather sullenly. "Sorry,
Dad. There wasn't much of a fight."
Siegmund was shocked. "What? There was no fight?! Son, how
could you?! Xanten needs a hero, dammit. What
defensively and pouted. "The stones were slippery. I tripped
and fell on him and–" He made a helpless gesture.
smushed." The king buried his face in his hands. "How
ever shall we make a hero out of you?" He sighed. "Okay,
we do the following: Fafnir was fifteen meters large–"
like 15 centimeters, Dad."
glared angrily at his dense son. "Forget that. 15 meters,
"Good. You took
the better of a day to slay him and then you took a bath in his
would I do something as disgusting as that?"
the blood of a dragon makes you invulnerable."
Siegfried blinked wide-eyed.
Siegmund waved it aside. "But it sounds good.
make my toes or my nose invulnerable, Dad?" Siegfried
"I mean, there
wasn't too much blood in the little critter, you know?"
Siegmund groaned audibly. "For
once, try not to be as blond inside as outside and use your
brain! If the beast were 15 meters large there would have been a
whole swimming pool of blood for you to dunk in!"
showed his tongue in disgust and repeated, "Eeew."
be such a ninny!" Siegmund scolded him. "Had you killed
Fafnir by sword as I told you instead of by your big butt, there
wouldn't be a problem at all! So shut up and learn the story!"